For the last couple of days, chia had the runs. Every hour or so, we ran quickly outside to a shit of various consistencies and quantities. Firm and small, or the soupy ones. Last night was particularly sad, as I've never even got to the bed. I've only slept for an hour or so, because Chia constantly had to go. After a while, sick, I went going insane. When images of poems in delirium came.

After some time I started to write, as Chia either shat, or was ripping ass next to me, probably out of spite.

22:01

Poop number four.
For fucks sake chia,
please no more!

You puffed, you panted, and out came a soup.
To pick it up, I needed a scoop.

Dear chia, love, cut the crap.
From picking up your presents,
daddy got a bad back

22:42

As if four didn’t happen, quickly came the five.
My darling chia, how are you still alive?

Pee or poo It’s basically same
From which hole it exits now Is the name of the game
I don’t need bags, I need a bucket

Stop pissing through your ass you furry muppet

00:46

Just as daddy fell asleep I thought of it.
“I should do a sixth shit.”

This one was small, no texture, no substance.
Only smell so foul, so he could find it from a distance.

I could have taken it, efficient and quick.
Instead I waited, until frostbite got daddy’s prick.

03:15

Am I still dreaming, am I in heaven?
Fuck no
She just dropped number seven.

Well it’s not technically seven.
As one inside she has done.
She tried to hide it, while I was asleep
by pulling a fucking carpet over it!

04:01

8 or 9, ain’t got a clue
So I’ll write you a fucking haiku
This one was small

04:45

Number 10 I’ll call it.
Because that’s what it is.
Even if it wasn’t bigger than a handful of peas

If it wasn’t for these poems, I would have lost count.
And just clap you over your little snout

I would almost believe
You do it out of spite
(But I feed you dog)
If you weren’t such a sorry sight.

So now we’ve walked a bit and you took your tenth shit.
I now that for you this might be a leisure.
But daddy is inching closer to a seizure.

Fuck it dog, I’m heading to bed
If you need me, consider me dead